So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
