He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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