hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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