So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
