eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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