i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
