i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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