God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
