I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
