He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
