with your own penis?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
