Sry I called you an 8
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize