Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
