He is an equal opportunity slut.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
