You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
