My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
