I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The best revenge is premature balding
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
