i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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