You smell like stripper and shame
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
