'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
