I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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