We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize