I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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