Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dick very happy bro
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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