just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
