Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
