You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
