More tranny stories later!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
