Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
