I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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