just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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