the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
