we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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