Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
