This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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