I think I am morally bankrupt
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
