when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
