She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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