sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
