return my video game
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
