sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
