About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
