I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
