i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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