Where are you?
In a non slutty way
True but thats because hes a fetus.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
