Christians are straight up FREAKS
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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