Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
