pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I checked into jail on foursquare
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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