I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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