I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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