She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
