All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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