i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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