matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
