dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish my penis had an off switch
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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