Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
