i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Floor bacon is actually really good
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